The name game

Okay. So, my boyfriend and I are having this huge dispute over what we're going to name our baby boy. I really like the name Jossiah Joel. He hates both of those. He likes KJ, and not like short for Kelvin Jr. He wants the baby's name to be KJ (middle name) (last name). What the heck!?
I am willing to compromise. We don't have to name him Jossiah. Dad picks the first name and Mom picks the middle name. Well, dad doesn't like that idea either because he doesn't like the name Joel. So, now I'm like, let Mom pick the first name and Dad the middle name. Since he doesn't like Jossiah, I picked another name - Jacoby. Well, Dad doesn't like that name either. In fact, he doesn't know what name he likes besides KJ.
I am trying to be reasonable about this because I wouldn't feel right knowing that I did not give him a say-so in the naming of our child. But he is driving me crazy.
I like Jossiah Joel because we could call him Jo or Jo-Jo for short. And I like Jacoby Joel because we could call him Coby for short. But, Dad is being difficult.
What's a girl to do?

Oh, boy!!!

As you know, I am pregnant. As you may not know (because I just found out yesterday), I am having a boy!!! Another boy. Even though I wanted a girl, just because my boyfriend and I already had a girl name that we agreed on (Khelsea DeAnn), but now we have to play this name game all over again.
I like the name Jossiah Joel, he hates it - but he has no idea what name he likes.

I finally told my relatives that I am pregnant. Not my dad, but my aunt and uncle who are like parents to be. My uncle was really supportive, but my aunt, wasn't. She is like this Bible-freak. So, she gave me and my boyfriend this 2 hour lecture about how we need to be married and how God won't bless us because we're "shacking up." She made me feel really bad. She was basically insinuating that she would be happy for us if we were married, but because we are not married or planning on getting married she doesn't approve. I cried.

But, I'm over it now. I am happy about my baby; my boyfriend is happy about our baby, so that's all that matters.

I want a big family. Maybe I'll have a girl next time. - in 5 or 6 years (when I'm done with graduate school).

Lil Wayne Cake

The Baldwin's gave their daughter a birthday cake of rapper Lil' Wayne's head. WOW!
That thing was freaky. Don't get me wrong, I am a HUGE Wayne fan, but I would have never in a million years gotten a cake of his head. I would have never even wanted something like that. Seriously, why not just get the guy to come to your birthday celebration if you want to see him on your birthday. Really, that cake is creepy. I will never look at cake the same way.
In other news, Halloween was a total bore. I didn't take my son trick-or-treating because it was waayyy too cold. I was planning on going with the town on Friday, but the power was out half the day - so I figured they would cancel that. Not to mention the fact that it was cold and pouring down majority of the day as well. But the sun did come out at the end of the day, which was really nice. However, I did take advantage of Taco Bell's BlackJack Taco give away and Sonic's $0.50 corndog sale. I spent the day watching a "Halloween" marathon - the movie Halloween. So, it wasn't a complete waste.
I am just ready for Thanksgiving!

Hunger

I have been soooo hungry lately. All of a sudden I just have this insatiable desire to eat. I can tell that I have been eating too much because my son is getting chubby (being that he eats every time I eat).
I haven't really been craving anything except home-cooked meals. I want some soul food, or at least something made from scratch. But I don't know how to make any soul food and my grandmother lives an hour away in Delhi. But, all of that will change. When I move next month, I am going to ask her to come live with me and cook all of my meals. Hopefully she'll come.

Technology

I feel so stupid because I have no technological education whatsoever. My uncle, who is like 55, asked me to help him with something on his iPhone. I was totally clueless. All I could do was tell him that I did not know how to use it because I did not have one. When really, I can barely use a standard iPod!
On a computer, I know how to access Microsoft word and use it (the 2007 version anyway). I can access the internet, make a powerpoint or play solitaire - that's about it.
I feel like a loser because how many 20 year olds do you know who aren't like computer wizzes. Not only that, I know absolutely nothing about MySpace or FaceBook or Twitter or any of the popular social networking sites that most college students are on. I tried to create myself a MySpace page and I couldn't do it. I had to get my 16 year old cousin to help me. And MySpace is her life, so I started thinking - anything my little cousin is into can't be for me. So, I never check the page. Now I'm regretting that.

How lame am I???!

Oh, Baby!!!

Well, I'll be blunt: I'm pregnant, about 3 months now.
I wasn't exactly thrilled at the idea when I first discovered it. I immediately thought "abortion." After reconsidering and pretty much just wasting time, it was too late to get one done. So, now I'm stuck with the thing. I am beginning to accept the idea of having another baby, but I'm still not totally happy about it. My worry won't let me be totally happy. The fact that I didn't really want the thing from the beginning anyway makes me totally apathetic as to what the baby's sex will be. My boyfriend wants a girl since we already have a son - but who cares what he wants, its his fault I'm pregnant.
Even though I am apathetic about the sex, I have considered some names. For a boy, I like Jossiah Joel McCants (because my son's name is Torrian Noel McCants) or Haydden Joel McCants. My boyfriend doesn't like either of those; he wants Amani or Kelvin Jr. I hate both of those, so I reiterate - who cares what he wants, its his fault I'm pregnant. If its a girl, I decided that I would name her after my little sister, Chelsea, who passed away in 1995 - Khelsea. Her middle name will be after my mommy, Sandra Ann, who passed away in 2006 - DeAnn (Khelsea DeAnn McCants). The baby daddy likes that name because he thinks it sounds like his (his name is Kelvin, but most people call him Kel - Khelsea. That's why I threw the H in there, to let him know that she is not named after him - but she will have his initials, so he better be happy about that)!
I was also thinking of giving her my mom's first name (Sandra) and my sister's middle name (Beyonca) - CaSandra Beyonca McCants. But I don't know what I will do yet. I just like having options!

I will keep you posted on the sex and name results! :)

New Release

I recently saw "Monsters vs Aliens" and I hated it. I like have to see any cartoon movie that comes out because of my 2 1/2 year old. I really hated it. Dreamworks has really been slacking these past few years. I loved "Shrek." I thought "Bee Movie" was okay. Now this movie just sucks to me. The plot stinks, but it had a lot of action. Overall, it was just stupid. It had a good moral, though (which I thought was basically be confident). Disney is totally blowing them out of the water as far as quality. "Ratatouille," "The Incredibles," and "Cars" were all awesome! My son and I both LOVE those movies. His fave is "Cars" and my fave is "The Incredibles." I am starting to think that Dreamworks should just stick with motion pictures and leave the animation to the experts!

Wedding

I am participating in my cousin's wedding this weekend. I wasn't initially, because I wasn't asked to participate because I would not be able to afford to buy the neccessary items to participate. Then, my aunt scolded my cousin about including all of our other cousins in the wedding and not including me, so I was added as a bridesmaid. My aunt and uncle voluntarily decided to pay for my bridesmaid dress under the stipulation that I pay for everything else (i.e. hotel, trip there, food, hair, nails, etc.) myself. So, not only am I unwillingly participating in this (because I was fine not being apart of the wedding), I am going broke doing it. I recently bought a car, a '98 BMW, and that took $2600 (but my uncle paid the other $1900, so I can't complain). But after doing that and buying my son and boyfriend suits for the wedding - not to mention their haircuts and shoes - and getting my dress taken in (because it was waaayyy too big) I only have about $200 left. And that has to go to the hotel and gas for when I go there (Harahan, LA). My electricity bill is still due ($113) and I need to get groceries.
I am doing all of this alone. My boyfriend doesn't have a job nor does he have any money. The financial responsibility is all mine and I am sick of it. I was actually planning to use my refund to get my son and I our own apartment, without his father, but so many other expenses have come up that I just don't have the money to do it. And on top of all that, my son's birthday is coming up (October 24th) and I need money to do something special for him. Then, Halloween is a week after that. What's a girl to do???

I feel stupid.

I feel so dumb because i didn't take any classes over the summer and I've gotten out of the routine. Now, I am in an economics class that is kicking my ass, so I feel super-dumb!!! I study and I know this class should not be as hard as it is for me. I am really having a hard time understanding the material, and I feel like I'm the only one. I'm usually not shy about asking questions when I don't understand something, but the teacher has already put me on blast for asking a dumb question, so I decided not to put myself in that situation again. I really don't want to have to go to his office and get one-on-one help, but that seems to be my only option now. But that will be my last resort. We took a quiz in class today, so I will wait until I get my grade on that before I go to the last resort.

Relationships

Who ever said that being singel was a bad thing? Why does society think that a single woman (especially an older or middle-aged single woman) is lonely? I have been in a relationship for almost 6 years and I want to be single. I don't think I will ever get married after this experience. Seriously, a relationship is just unneccesary stress, especially with a jealous or insecure mate. I mean, didn't we get enough of having to answer to someone as a kid answering to our parents. Now, as an adult we answer to our boss at work, our children at home, and the law in public. Why on earth would anyone want another person to whom he/she has to answer. When you're single, you can come and go as you please. No one will ask you where you're going, who you're going with, or when you'll be back, etc. Of course it is human nature to get lonely, but that is why you have friends or maybe even a casual date or two.
So, if you ask me, being tied down is for the birds (lol). I'm done!!!

Ruston

I question myself daily as to why I chose to come to LA Tech U in little old Ruston. It is nearly impossible to find a job around here and it is impossible to find a reasonably priced apartment or house to rent during the schoolyear. Collegetown is an understatement. This is college-hell for the nontraditional student. I am looking for a 2 bedroom, 1 bath home (apartment or house) that is in good shape for no more than $450 per month. Is that so much to ask for? Apparently so, since I have not had any luck finding it.

Just to let you know, they did give me more weeks for the summer camp. Now I have three weeks instead of just one! YAY :)!!! I may even be able to get more. . . .

LA GEAR UP

I have been selected to participate in the LA GEAR UP program as a Camp Counselor. I am thrilled. The program is designed to help junior high students prepare for college. We will try to encourage them to make the decision to go to college, then they take ACT pretests, then we tutor them on subjects in which they are weak. Finally, and most importantly, we build bonds with them and become sort of their mentor.
I am so excited about this opportunity because the director of the program said that it is all about changing lives. It is funny to me that that is the program's main objective because that is the main reason I decided to go into psychology. When my mom passed away, I did not have anyone to ever say to me "If you need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, I am here for you." NEVER!!! And that is what I needed the most being that I am my mom's only child, and she was a single parent. I needed that because I did not have any brothers or sisters who could identify with what I was going through. No one understood or empathized with what I was feeling. So, I decided to go into psychology so that I could one day help children who have lost a parent in a way that I had no one help me. I would love to be able to change someone's life.
The program director also said that a lot of the children coming to the camps are underprivileged and some do not have their parents' support and encouragement when it comes to school. Even though they may be smart and determined, they do not have the information they need to even consider going to college. I could be that kid's support system and encouragement. I may be the person who, 20 years from now, that kid grows up to be successful and comes back to and says "If it were not for you, I probably would not be where I am today." I could change someone's life! That is so amazing to me because I want to be able to change people's lives for a living someday. This is a great start.
However, there are a lot of people who got the job of being a summer camp counselor and they could care less if they change someone's life or not. They are really just in it for the money. At first I felt privileged to have gotten the job, but now I don't because they hired so many people who in my opinion are not qualified. It just makes me realize that they did not have very high standards or expectations for the applicants. Which sucks because the people like me who are not just doing for the money are losing out. They assign each counselor a certain week or weeks to work. Some of the people who just want the money got assigned like 3 or even 4 or 5 weeks whereas I only got assigned 1 week. It really sucks.
But, I asked for more weeks so I will let you know what happens.

Movies - Again

I recently saw Beyonce Knowles's new movie "Obsessed", co-starring Ali Larter. Don't get me wrong, I am a huge Beyonce fan - the hugest - but this movie was not all that. I felt like I had seen it (or something like it) before. Plus, it was super-predictable. I hate when I can tell what's going to happen next. It takes the fun out of watching a movie, especially a thriller. Thrillers are supposed to have you on the edge of your seat wanting more and wondering what's going to happen next. This movie didn't do that!
On a brighter note, Beyonce's performance in the movie was good. Her acting skills have improved tremendously since her role in "Cadillac Records" and "Austin Powers: Goldmember." In her older movies I was like "She needs to stick to singing." But when I saw this one I was like "Okay, maybe she can do the acting thing." Not all singers/rappers can act, but she did well.
Ali Larter's performance was amazing!!! Her character was this crazy woman and there were scenes where the camera would zoom in on her and she had like a crazy look in her eyes. She was so believable. WOW. Beyonce's performance pales in comparison to Ali's. Even though the actors did well, the plot of the movie sucked.

Movies

I am a huge movie buff! There is nothing I love to do more on a rainy day than to stay in bed and watch movies all day. When I see a good movie for the first time it makes me so happy. My favorites are thrillers - like "Quarantine" and "The Perfect Stranger" (starring Bruce Willis and Halle Berry). I love Halle Berry, she is such a great actress. My second favorites are comedys. The funniest comedic actor on earth is Will Ferrell. I love all of his movies. There is nothing greater than watching a hilarious movie that just has the funniest most memorable quotes in it. My boyfriend and I say little quotes like that to each other all the time. Vince Vaughn is another comedic actor that will have you rolling on the floor laughing. Movies are a necessary part of life. I really don't get why they are so expensive.
New releases usually run like $20. So, you have to wait until the movie is like 2 years old to buy it so you won't feel stupid for spending $20 on it when all you had to do was wait a little while to spend like $10 or $15 (which sucks).
I can never just buy one movie. Every time I go to Movie Gallery or Wal-Mart for DVDs, I always leave with at least three. I really love movies. When I don't have any new DVDs and I'm tired of seeing my old ones, I will watch Lifetime or TBS or FX or TNT or USA just to catch a good movie. I love 'em.

I've figured it out!!!

So, my very first blog was about the title of this page. Well, I have figured out the real reason why I don't like journalism - because it is boring! Sometimes I watch CNN for the heck of it and it drives me crazy how they will give a few details of a story and bring some expert in to give his/her opinion. You have to watch like 30 minutes of blah-blah-blah just to get the details of what happened! I hate it.
Which is why I want to use my journalism degree to go into broadcast. The 6:00 news it the only one that I can bear. They have less than 30 minutes to give you all of what they know about something and that is the way the news should be - fast. I feel like "just tell me what's happening in the world so I can move on with life." They always tell you what has happened and move on. The news is not something you read or watch for fun - you read and watch to get the facts. That's it. I am currently in a feature writing class and I am having the hardest time. I just don't get why someone would want to read a long story about nothing. I've only written one so far, but MAN! - even it was a stretch. I wouldn't want to read the story that I wrote, let alone one that someone else wrote.
I totally get hard news and soft news stories, but feature stories I just don't get. I mean, if someone wants to read they should go get a book, not a newspaper. But hey - I guess different strokes for different folks.

People

I am fascinated by human beings, which is why I am studying to be a psychologist. I read a story today in USA Today with the headline "10 years later, the real story behind Columbine." It said that the guys who shot up the school and killed themselves were not "goths or loners." They hadn't been bullied and in fact bragged about bullying others. They were regular kids - just with some psychological issues. But what most people don't consider is that there was something going on with them to make them lash out that way. People never consider that!!! All they think of is how horrible what they did is. Sometimes it is helpful to consider why someone is the way they are or why they do what they do.
If someone is a bitch, try to think of why they are mean and empathize with it instead of just summing up their personality as one who conflicts with your personality. I know a girl who thrives off of people hating her. She calls herself "the devil." I hate her guts!!! But I don't hold it against her because she is that way because she is holding a grudge. She had a really messed up childhood. She was forced to grow up at an early age to care for her two younger brothers while her mom worked from 8 am to 8 pm Monday through Friday to support them. (No dad). Although she loves her mom and they get along pretty well today, I think she is still a little resentful. So, I just pray for her and look past it.
But most people don't think of an arrogant person as damaged or hurt. I hate that. if more people took the time to consider what others have been through, the world would be a better place. Empathy is all it takes. Some people have experienced unimaginable things that do alter their thought process and scar them emotionally or mentally forever. Everyone should take the time to consider that. There is a reason for everything.
Everyone has a story...

Children

Is it possible to have both a family and a career? I want both. I already have a son and I want three to four more children. Most people think I'm crazy for wanting so many children, but that is just because they've had a hard time raising theirs. I have had such a pleasant experience being a mother in the two and a half years that my son has been on this earth and I know that I want more kids. However, I also want to be a successful psychologist. That is going to take another six years of school. Where do babies fit into pursuing your dream? I don't know anyone who can answer that for me because i don't know anyone who has pursued their dream after having children. They all give up on it for one reason or another. Am I crazy for thinking it is even possible to have both? What am I going to do - have a baby every summer between school years? It will be especially hard to have a large family if my husband is still pursuing his career. How will it work? Many women just pop the kids out until they're tired of having them and go back to school to pursue their career once the kids are older - but the problem is that the mom is older, too! Nobody wants to be the old lady in class. Well, if anyone figures out the answer to this, let me know!!!

The root of all evil!

It is so unbelievable to me that money makes the world go around. I just can not wrap my mind around it!!! The economy is bad and the only thing on everyone's mind is money: how to save more money, how to get more for your buck, how to stay out of debt. The answer is all so simple. We need to stop glorifying money as much as we do. And when I say we, I mean PEOPLE. Not just Americans because we owe China trillions of dollars. Cash and credit are the most important thing here. If you have a lot of money and good credit, you are pretty mych guaranteed anything you want in life. And, you don't necessarily have to have both. A bunch of money will practically guarantee you happiness and respect; good credit will practically guarantee you will be able to own anything you want, even if you aren't rich. What has the world come to?
If you really think about it, I'm right!!! Money is the reason for most crimes. Money is the reason many marriages end in divorce. Money is the reason a lot of people can't go to college. Money is the reason many people do go to college (to get a job where they can make more money). Money is the reason people work jobs they hate and end up "going postal" on the place. Money is even the reason for people committing suicide sometimes.
The love of money is the root of all evil! ----- Or maybe I'm just complaining because I'm broke :) !!!

What's the deal with marriage?

I watch a lot of television. There are always shows about women who want to figure out the reason why they can't get a man to marry them. VH1 has this new show called "Tough Love." Tyra Banks does episodes on this subject all the time. I just don't see what the big deal is about getting married!
I have been in a steady, serious relationship for almost 6 years now. We have been living together for 4 of those years. Sometimes I think "If marriage is anything like "shacking up" (as the old people call it), then I never want to get married."
And then I think, "i can't base my opinion of marriage in general on my one crappy relationship!" So, if the opportunity arises, then I will marry - but not for love. I think marrying for love is like the craziest thing ever because you never know who you will love or who will love you. What if you marry a person who is addicted to heroin because you're in love with a crackhead? What if you marry them because the person that loves you is a crackhead? Now you're stuck between a rock and a hard place because you love them (or they love you), but they're stealing your money and pawning your jewelry to support their habit!!!
If I marry it will be because that guy is extremely compatible with me - he is responsible, honest, has good character, does not smoke, likes kids, is tall, has a college eduaction and a good job, etc.
So, the moral of the story is: don't marry for love, marry for money :) !!!

What's up with the title?

Well, I am a journalism major because I am a psychology major as well. Anybody who knows anything about psychology knows that in order to be a psychologist you must complete not only undergraduate school, but graduate school as well. Being that I am a teen parent, the odds of me graduating undergrad school - let alone grad school - are stacked against me! So, journalism is my back-up plan. Just in case I am not able to do grad school, I will not have wasted four years of my life in undergrad school.
I am a journalism hater because I have taken two journalism courses and I am currently in my third course. I realized by the second course that I do not want to do this crap!!! I like to write, don't get me wrong, but it is not my passion. Honestly, it is pretty nerve-wrecking at times. I hate having to run all over the place to do different interviews and having to write 1200 word stories and having to learn all of the grammatical rules - which are different in journalism writing english writing. I hate it all. But i need it because there are no other majors at Louisiana Tech whose curriculum will correspond to the psychology curriculum. So, I'm stuck. That is why I'm a journalism major - journalism hater!

What's up with the title?